"The dr. said this is normal."
"There is nothing I could have done."
"God is in control."
"You won't have to go thru this again."
These are some things I remember repeating to myself on the daily. I remember sitting in our guest bedroom on the floor almost in complete shock... how did I not know this was even a possibility? How have I never heard of this happening to anyone else? This is NOT how the fairytale goes. Tell me ONE disney princess who this happened to??? Don't worry ill wait............... I remember thinking all of this to myself.
Fast forward to December, and TWO more miscarriages. 8 weeks, and 12 weeks. Our Dr. set us up with a fertility specialist at Loma Linda. Appointments after appointments, tests after tests, and never any answers. If I had $1.00 for how many times I've had to lay on an exam table in a paper gown, id be a millionaire. I have never been poked and probed so much in my entire life. But there comes a point where you almost become numb to what your doing, and you just focus on the end result. Doing all this, we will eventually get our baby.
After all that testing, probing, pricking and biopsy-ing we still came up with no answers as to why. Why did we lose three of our precious babies in 4 months? What is wrong with me?... What am I doing wrong??
So I'm sitting on our couch one day, a month after my last pointless testing. And I get a text message from my mother in law. " Im watching this fertility Dr. on the Ricki Lake show, he is the leading fertility Dr. in all of Orange County. You should watch this episode."
My first reaction, to be honest, was.. Gee thanks!! lol! Like.. there is this dentist on this show who helps people with really jacked up teeth.. you should watch it! lol. But that was just my defensive uterus talking. I actually watched the show and was intrigued, so.. I called and made my first dr.s appointment with this Dr.
Our first meeting was so much more than I expected. For so long I had walked into Dr.s offices and left feeling hopeless. Feeling like it would never happen. That I was destined to be this broken princess who couldn't give her prince a baby. The first thing our Dr. did (Dr. Daniel Potter at HRC fertility) was share his own struggle with fertility. Oh wow! So we arnt the only ones!
"Well first we are gonna test your husband since thats the easiest thing to do."
what??? You mean HE could have a problem? I thought I was the problem? Ive been the one going thru every procedure in the book, and have been told I have the fertility issue. After everything I had been thru- every PAINFUL test.. and the problem could have the potential to not even be with me.
I was sure that wasn't the case- since the party never stops. Im sure it had to be something way more complicated. So my husband leaves a sample of his "soldiers" to be tested and we wait for the results.
A couple days later we get the call.. turns out it was as simple as that. My husband has the fertility issue. NOT ME. After OVER a year of testing, money for the testing, pain of going thru the testing, we finally had some sort of answer! It felt like a HUGE relief! But at the same time, my husbands heart broke, He felt so guilty that I had gone thru so much physically when he was the one with the issue. We were in the car when we got the results and I remember pulling over and just crying our eyes out to eachother.
So now we had a game plan, medication for my husband, and appointments to have something called an IUI-Intra Uterine insemination done. My husband changed his eating habits, was taking vitamins, and the medication the Dr. had told him to start taking. So in a couple months we would have the procedure done, and hopefully be on our way to our happily ever after.