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I know this skips a couple chapters in our fairytale. But my husband Alex and I are in the process of adoption and In that process our social worker has asked us or me to write a letter to a potential birth mom. Now most people write a generic letter but I have chosen to write one with each potential birth mom. We recently were being considered for a new born baby girl and this was the letter I wrote to her birth mom.
Im only choosing to share this because I know it will help other people in the process of adoption with writing their letters. Well, at least I hope it will. You may not think it's difficult to write a letter to someone you have never met and probably will never meet but on the contrary. To try and convey yourself in a 2-4 page letter to someone who holds the key to your happily ever after is extremely difficult. How do I show this woman with this letter that I'm the best person to take care of her child? Should I be funny? Should I be serious? Should I sound super educated or dumb it down? ( no seriously, that's a legit question) Do I share heartache? I don't wanna sound desperate? I wanna be sensitive to her decision but I don't wanna come across like I know what she's going thru cuz I have no idea.
All this his is going through my head and I just wanna write GIVE ME YOUR DAMN BABY!!!! K thanks bye
We we were told by our social worker to use 9th grade comprehension, to not make promises, and to not use ur last name. So the direction was pretty vague.
It it took me several hours but I feel like I finally got it right. Well, we didn't get picked so maybe she hated it? Who knows! But all I know is I decided to just be myself. I wrote to her like she was sitting in front of me looking me in the face.
So here it goes......
Hi there, my name is Angelique and my husbands name is Alexander. Let me start off by saying, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to look at our profile and consider us as adoptive parents to your baby. Unable to have children on our own, Alex and I have chosen adoption to create our happily ever after.
I’m Angelique. I am 30 years old, I love baking, anything Disney, pizza, watching movies and I am covered in tattoos. Ever since I was a little girl I have always wanted to get married and have a family of my own. But sometimes Happily Ever After isn't always how it appears in the movies. My husband and I have been trying for over 5 years to have a baby and after a lot of prayers, loss, and infertility medicine, God has placed us in the path of adoption.
I grew up very much a tom boy just living with my dad and brother. Me and my brother were both in baseball and thats how I met my husband; when I was 8 years old and him and my brother were on the same t-ball team. He didn't say so at the time- being only 8 years old. But I'm sure Alex took one look at the chubby tom boy girl with nacho cheese stained on her t-ball jersey and just fell in love. My husband and I grew up about 5 blocks away from each other and attended the same Jr. high and High School. It wasn't until about 2010 that he FINALLY let his built up love for me shine and asked me out. Only took him 15 years to gather up the courage. What can I say, some men just need to be really really REALLY sure.
I graduated from bible school in AZ in 2010 and thats when me and Alex started dating. Exactly one year later he proposed to me, then one year after that we were married.
Hi there! I’m Alexander. I’m 29 years old and pretty much your typical guy. I love sports, going to church, sports, watching movies, fishing, cuddling (shh, don't tell anyone) and did I mention sports? I grew up with two brothers and if it wasn't for my dad passing away almost a year ago, him and my mom would have been married for almost 35 years. I had a very blessed childhood and thanks to my dad was instilled with an amazing work ethic. I have been at my job as a telephone line man for about 13 years and I absolutely love it. I have some college education and am currently working on finishing my degree. I have a really big family and grew up really close to all my cousins. Even to this day we all still get together with our families and bbq, swim, go on vacations and hang out. Family is very important to me.
Its Angelique again, isn't he the sweetest? I know, I am one lucky lady. Don’t let him fool you tho, he leaves his wet towels and socks everywhere and never puts the toilet paper roll on the toilet paper roll thingy.
We are currently living in Rancho Cucamonga California and absolutely love it. We have access to some of the best schools in the inland empire and live just minutes away from some really amazing parks, museums, and libraries. One of our favorite things to do on a Sunday morning is grab some Starbucks take a walk window shopping in cute downtown areas, farmers markets, or food truck places. Thats if we can’t make it to our favorite place, Disneyland! We are season pass holders and any chance we get to sneak away to the most magical and crowded place in the world we do.
Both Alex and I are extremely excited about adoption. We are so incredibly thankful that God has placed us where HE has and that we have the opportunity to pour love and protection over a little one that needs it. We believe that everything happens for a reason. Good, bad, indifferent; God doesn't make mistakes and there is always something to learn and grow from in every situation. We are Christian and have a strong foundation in the Lord. Do we attend church every single Sunday? No. Im just being honest. There are days when we would rather snuggle and sleep in. But we always try and watch our church’s service on line if we can’t physically make it there. I didn't grow up knowing anything about Christ or his grace until I was around 18 years old. And not to get all preachy on you, but if it wasn't for The Lord, I don't even think I would be talking to you right now. I have been in some extremely low places in my life growing up and made some heavy mistakes. But God is so incredibly good! HE has broken me down to my lowest of lows only to be completely renewed and whole. We do plan on raising this beautiful little one to know God and make HIM known. Now, that doesn't mean we will have them passing out bible pamphlets on the corner. That means, we want this little one to know that there is someone besides us that is working on their behalf. That there is someone besides us that will love them till the ends of the earth and that will never leave them, hurt them, or steer them wrong. That there is someone who made them for a specific purpose and created absolute perfection when making them.
From the second we told our families about adoption all we have heard is “Is the baby here yet?!” They are all so incredibly excited to meet and love on this little baby. This little one will never be without love I can tell you that much. How can you love someone you know nothing about? I ask myself the same question! But believe me, they do. We all do! And on behalf of allllllllll of us, thank you from the very bottom of all our hearts for even considering us to have such an incredible gift.
It has been mentioned to us several times not to make promises to you because who knows what the future holds. But I assure you this.. from a woman to a woman. I will pour every ounce of love, encouragement, and protection into raising this precious child. I won’t miss a single ballet recital, softball game, school dance, or heart break. I know I won’t be perfect, because no one is. But I know with every fiber of my being that I will never give up on her or stop loving her. I will never be to busy to cuddle, play dress up, color, or patch up a hurt knees. My promise to you as her birth mom is that this little girl will be more loved than any other in the entire world. And regardless what happens in her entire life, I will always be there.
Thank you thank you a million times thank you for taking the time to read about me and my husband. And most of all, thank you for possibly giving us our happily ever after.
Angelique and Alex
God had another family in mind for this little one. Which is why me and my husband were not selected. Our hearts are heavy and we wanted this so bad. We know God has a plan for us and our baby is out there. We have not given up hope, and just pray that this little girl has the most blessed life ever. We hope and pray that she is always safe and that all her dreams come true.