I wish I could say it was absolutely ludicrous to believe that feeling sexy has anything to do with what size you are, but sadly for many women it does. I get hundreds of messages from men and women after I post a "sexy" photo of myself saying things like; "I wish I had your confidence." or "I wish I had the courage to wear something sexy like that." Men will send me messages asking me what my secret is and if I could talk to their wife about how sexy confidence is.
And my question is...WHY??? WHY do we associate sexiness with size?? Why is it totally mind blowing for fat men and women to feel sexy? Why are WE supposed to be excluded from the feeling sexy game????
Society shoves images of small waisted women in lingerie, bikinis, damn near dental floss, and yeah...60% of the time I think they are sexy. But just because I DONT look ANYTHING like that, doesn't mean I'm not sexy to!
I used to have the mindset of so many men and women out there. "Once I lose weight, ill be happy." "Once I lose weight, Ill be able to wear lingerie." "Once I lose weight, ALLLLLL my problems will magically disappear." LOL Oh Jesus...be a fence.
NEWS FLASH!!! Sexiness is not restricted to a certain size! It comes from within!!
And I don't care what anyone says, we ALL have days when we feel totally NOT sexy. Thin people don't feel sexy all day everyday. Regardless of what society and The Bachelor say.
What I've learned in this plus size life of mine, is that feeling sexy is a state of mind. And that before I can feel sexy with anyone else I have to feel sexy with my self. Thats the first step! I remember at the very beginning of my marriage, at my smallest size and lightest weight not even wanting to look at myself in lingerie! Let alone have my new husband look at me!
And I hated feeling that way! It wasn't until I bought lingerie for MY DAMN SELF, and walked around my house ALONE, that I started to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
I feel like a lot of times as women we put so much pressure on other validation of ourselves, Whats HE going to like?? Whats HE going to think??
YOU HAVE TO START WITH YOU! What do YOU want to see on yourself? What do YOU think about yourself???
Start with that! And the rest will fall into place!
Once Upon a Time
Growing up with a single dad, and a house with only boys, let just say fashion wasn't something I was at all familiar with. Add being plus size to that and its "you are wearing what your brother wears just in bigger boy sizes." There was no Torrid, Lane Bryant, Forever21 plus- At least my Dad had not discovered it yet.I think thankfully by age 13 there was a Fashionbug?? EEKK! Having literally worn boy clothes for most of my life I learned at a very young age that fashion, style and beauty have to start inside and radiate through you.